Thursday, April 12, 2007

Dream a little dream of Green

By Tim McManus
The Phanatic Magazine

The '07 schedule is out -- time to daydream...

Sept. 9, at Green Bay

Storylines: Donovan McNabb makes his return to the field...Brett Favre embarks on his final season in the pros...Andy Reid coaches in his first game since tumultuous offseason.

Surprise moment: Joe Buck reveals that he does not just admire Favre, he's in love with him.

Outcome: Everyone remembers that Favre's been a shadow of a legend for the past three years, McNabb survives the first test, and the Lambeau mystique is questioned once again. Eagles 27, Packers 13.

Sept. 17, Washington

Storylines: The Birds open up the Linc with their only Monday Night game of the season...Joe Gibbs coaches his final game in Philadelphia.

Surprise moment: Philly fans turn off Merrill Reese for a moment and crank up ESPN, to suck in the sound waves void of one Joe Theisman.

Outcome: Eagles don't look great, but squeak one out. Eagles 21, Redskins 17

Sept. 23, Detroit

Storylines: Lions come in a surprising 2-0, talk of a playoff appearance runs rampant.

Surprise moment: Turns out Matt Millen doesn't have the compromising photos of Ford's niece as claimed -- is fired immediately.

Outcome: Eagles restore order to the football world, head to New York on a high note. Eagles 31, Detroit 21.

Sept. 30, at New York Giants

Storylines: Eagles first of three Sunday night games...Talk of benching Eli Manning dominates the headlines as the Giants come in 1-2.

Surprise moment: McNabb speared on a late hit in second quarter, out for the game.

Outcome: Manning saves his hide with three TD tosses, Giants send Eagles into bye week on a sour note and without their QB. Giants 30, Eagles 23.

Oct. 14, at NY Jets

Storylines: McNabb out with a cracked rib, A.J. Feeley gets the start.

Surprise moment: Reid tees off at halftime, infuriated that his club has fallen behind by double-digits.

Outcome: Kelly Holcomb replaces a struggling Feeley, rallies the team back from a 14-point deficit. Eagles 27, Jets 24.

Oct. 21, Chicago

Storylines: Birds visit the defending NFC champs...Rex Grossman benched for Brian Griese after Week 3...McNabb returns.

Surprise moment: McNabb lightly booed as he takes the huddle, prompting a flood of national stories and Mama McNabb blog tirades.

Outcome: Bears defense is a little too good. Bears 16, Eagles 10.

Oct. 28 at Minnesota

Storylines: Reid squares off against his apprentice, Brad Childress.

Surprise moment: Heather Mitts jumps ship from Feeley to Holcomb, eyes McNabb.

Outcome: Brian Westrook breaks loose for 3 TDs, defense puts in its best performance of the season. Eagles 34, Vikings 7.

Nov. 4, Dallas

Storylines: T.O. in Philly -- what else do you need to know?

Surpirise moment: Owens gets mugged on his way to the team bus. The culprit explains, "I have 25 million reasons to rob your ass."

Outcome: First-round draft choice Aaron Ross comes up with a key pick, Philly goes batty. Eagles 21, Dallas 14.

Nov. 11, at Washington

Storylines: Birds begin tough final stretch...Burden eased after Clinton Portis is ruled out with an ankle (Note: Since Fox is doing the game, they made me write "ankle" in stead of "ankle injury).

Surprise moment: Imus gets in hot water for calling Hogettes "pink-skinned fatties".

Outcome: Eagles on a roll. Eagles 20, Redskins 16.

Nov. 18, Miami

Storylines: Dante Culpepper finally healthy, makes second start of the season...Eagles going for four in a row.

Surprise moment: Westbrook goes down with a leg injury in second quarter...Status unknown.

Outcome: Culpepper puts up a circa-2003 performance. Dolphins 28, Eagles 20.

Nov. 25, at New England

Storylines: The Birds face the Pats for the first time since the Super Bowl...Westbrook questionable.

Surprise moment: Tedy Bruschi announces that he, too, is impregnated by Tom Brady.

Outcome: Westbrook plays, but it's not enough. Pats 24, Eagles 21 (again).

Dec. 2, Seattle

Storylines: Meeting of division leaders.

Surprise moment: Seahawk fan wears Ricky Watters jersey into Linc, survives.

Outcome: Too much Shawn Alexander. Seahawks 26, Eagles 17.

Dec. 9, NY Giants

Storylines: Teams enter with identical records, division on the line.

Suprise moment: McNabb suffers meniscus tear in right knee, out until playoffs.

Outcome: Home team wins anyway behind strong defensive effort, let by Takeo Spikes. Eagles 17, Giants 14.

Dec. 16, at Dallas

Storylines: Cowboys fighting for a playoff spot...Holmcomb named starter for rest of regular season.

Surprise moment: Wade Phillips rips off mask and body suit to reveal it's been Jerry Jones calling the plays all along.

Outcome: T.O. shines, mocks Eagles fans with Bird flap after each of his two touchdowns. Cowboys 27, Eagles 21.

Dec. 23, at New Orleans

Storylines: Return to New Orleans, where the Birds fell in the postseason nearly a year ago.

Surprise moment: Saints return opening kickoff, build early 17-point lead.

Outcome: Eagles rally to claim revenge, season-defining win. Eagles 34, Saints 30.

Dec. 30, Buffalo

Storylines: Last game of the regular season...Eagles can clinch division with a win.

Surprise moment: News comes out that McNabb is iffy for the first week of the playoffs.

Outcome: Behind an amped crowd, Eagles roll and claim the division. Eagles 27, Buffalo 10

Final record: 10-6

Tim appears on this page every Thursday. You can contact him at

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Actually I think Mike Doss will lead the Vikings past the Birds.