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| Courtesy of Steph Ricci |
Phanatic Hockey Editor
PORTER!! HELLO!!
It wasn’t even Day One of the new NHL season and I see you’re already aiming to move from the back of the room with all the cool kids to Head of the Class in the Bryce Harper School of Pandering to a Long Suffering Fanbase.
Yeah, I read that whole thing. Cause I’m a crusty old dude who can concentrate for 7 minutes at a clip, rather than zoning out for a 30-minute podcast with pretty pictures.
I love these pieces because it’s as unfiltered a voice from the players themselves as anyone’s gonna get. Just a little polish to smooth out the rough edges. Sticks it to all the award-baiters out there who fancy themselves “story tellers,” because it comes straight from the hearts and minds of the men and women in the arena.
You hit all the major points: hockey mad kid in Ontario. Dad who was a former draftee and never made it. Flyers fan in a region of the province that’s mostly Maple Leafs supporters. Backyard rink. Gassing up the big dogs who came before and carried your hopes and dreams for the Cup. Cute pics with your heroes. Dream fulfillment to wear the sweater for real. First experience with the bloodlust that comes with battling the Penguins.
I get it. You’re a first round draft pick. Big freshman season with Sparty that stopped well short of a natty party. Took the town by storm with a strong stretch run. The hope of nations.
You’re young, dumb and full of … a desire to live up to expectations: your own along with the Flyers’ fans and organization.
The franchise is placing a tremendous amount of faith in ya, bud. First-line winger. First power play unit.
Remember why you’re here with all the distractions that will eventually find your doorstep with that unblemished face. Do I even want to cite that line where Mickey doesn’t consider Rocky a true fighter until he gets his nose busted?
Just steer clear of any deodorant commercials. And cross-checking dudes square in the back when all four pairs of zebra eyes are fixed on a net-mouth scramble. Also, no interviews with cartoon rabbits, ducks, pigs or Martian conquerors. Eyes on the prize.
This city and its starved hockey fans don’t need someone who gives the team's admin star eyes with the fresh drip every home date. Don’t need an aw-shucks type of dude trying to gain crossover appeal in the Phillies broadcast booth with the National Treasure and his Mets-fan side kick.
You wanna be in the driver’s seat? Be more like Max Verstappen than Toonces. Harder than it looks, isn't it. Had your first goal of the season wiped out and the team hasn't won a game yet.
We don’t wanna hide our faces anymore. Done with discussions over whether Kate Smith should be out, loud and proud or stuck in a wooden crate guarded by top men. Just win, baby. We need ya to internalize that mindset with every stride of every skate blade on every fresh slice of ice from this day forward.
Harper’s done more to integrate the Phillie Phanatic into high-end off-the-field couture than he’s done to bring us a championship on it. Seriously, son, don’t start.
Don’t be wearing Gritty socks and Gritty Hawaiian shirts and shooting hoops with the Sixers in Camden or shagging flies across the street with a Gritty headband. No Gritty-themed skates for children’s cancer research.
It’s been done to death.
You know your head coach, “Tocc?” He wasn’t expected to be a savior and that’s not what we want, either. His development into a folk hero was a rare and beautiful thing.
Went from a wild-eyed kid from another borough (Scarborough) who’d do anything to get ice time and do anything to keep it, to a bona-fide threat with his hands on every shift. No Insta posts of the second his fist met some poor unlucky bastard’s face.
You know what this city and its starved hockey fans need more than a wide-eyed kid ready to tell the world how great Philadelphia is? A 30-goal scorer.
Haven’t had one since Travis Konecny scored 33 a whopping 3 whole years ago. Better yet, they need a 40-goal scorer. Haven’t had one of those since Jeff Carter in 2009 and the only guy who’s been close since, was Scott Hartnell (37 in 2011-12). Only Simon Gagne has done it more than once this century, back-to-back seasons (46 in 2005-06, 41 in 2006-07).
Better still, a 50-goal scorer. Rarest of the rare. It’s a Six-Timers Club: Rick MacLeish. Reggie Leach. Bill Barber. Tim Kerr. Mark Recchi. John LeClair. Last time was 1998.
The Flyers haven’t drafted and developed a true sniper … EVER. Only traded and signed for their red-light rockers and in two rare cases, sent them right to the NHL after a brief, scorching period in the minors.
We also need a player who executes his role on the power play immaculately. Last season, Trevor Zegras was the first Flyer to hit double digits in PP goals (10) since James van Riemsdyk (10) in the COVID shortened 2021 season.
So why not shoot for let’s say, 15 goals on the advantage. That hasn’t happened in an uninterrupted season since Brayden Schenn (17) AND Wayne Simmonds (16) did the dirty work 10 years ago.
Although ticket prices in the 21st century suggest a base who’s been successful enough in life to build backyard rinks for their kids in cul-de-sacs that dot the ‘burbs, the spirit of our suffering is more fundamental.
City living. Heavy trouble. The small kids and the smart kids needing to look over their shoulder. Abbotts milk crate for a net. Mylec plastic for a stick. Cars parked on one side of a small street for boards. Scatter when the big kids take over the rink or try to roll with ‘em?
Or if you lived in a neighborhood that believed in public outlets for youth with a lot of energy, a rink with 8-foot-high cyclone fencing, two painted blue lines, one red line and 4 empty 20-gallon drums as goalposts.
Wanna know where you should go?
Scanlon Ice Rink. I and Venango. Recently refurbished in the middle of a once working-class Catholic neighborhood that could use a boost.
Rizzo Rink. Front and Washington. Check out what’s pretty much the last generation of guys and gals who take it upon themselves to play whenever and wherever there’s an open spot. Fishtown Rec. Girard and Montgomery. Burke Playground. 2nd and Jackson. Same deal.
Tocchet talked about "connections" on the power play. This is your shot to connect for real. Not Insta real. Real real. With the kids who look up to you and the adults who need you to produce so they don't submit to public embarrassment when they lose their fantasy league in April.
McDevitt Rec Center. Scotts Lane. Little Falls. I would also have said Houston Playground in Andorra, but,
oops … 3 years too late.
Of course, it’s also gonna be *strongly suggested* you stop by the Ed Snider Youth Hockey Foundation.
You’ve got a once-in-a-lifetime chance to be the kind of player who’ll never need to pay a bar tab or pick up a check for the rest of your life. Time to walk the walk. We’ll be in your corner. Until we’re not.
See ya out there. But we wanna see you here, too.
Sincerely,
Us
