NBA Finals: Good luck with all that

By John McMullen

(Phanatic Magazine) - Any Seinfeld fan worth his salt is a big fan of the "Serenity Now" episode.

The plot involves George Costanza's father, Frank, who is advised to say "serenity now" aloud every time his blood pressure rises.

My favorite part of the episode, however, is when Jerry's girlfriend gives his Knicks tickets away and comments that she has never seen him get "really mad."

When Jerry finally "learns" how to get mad, it releases all of his other repressed emotions, and he becomes a sensitive guy that loses his sense of humor and encourages his friends to do the same.

When George finally takes Jerry up on his offer and releases all of his deepest, darkest and presumably very disturbing secrets, Jerry is shocked back into his uncaring reality, telling his best friend:

"Good luck with all that."

That's all I could think about while listening to Orlando coach Stan Van Gundy after Game 1 of the NBA Finals.

For NBA mentors, the postseason is all about adjustments between games.

If you get rained on with threes, it's time to tell your wing people to run the shooters off the three-point line.

If you get pounded inside, it's time to double-team and force the jump shooters to beat you.

If you get punished by the pick-and-roll, it's time to tell your wing people to fight harder past that pick or get in the ear of your bigs and get them to show.

Of course if you can't do anything right, your job is a little tougher.

Welcome to Van Gundy's world.

The Magic were simply outclassed by a better Lakers team on Thursday, as Kobe Bryant scored a personal NBA Finals-high 40 points with eight rebounds and eight assists in LA's 100-75 rout.

Pau Gasol added 16 points with eight rebounds, Lamar Odom notched a double- double with 11 points and 14 rebounds and Andrew Bynum donated nine points and nine rebounds for the Lakers, who shot 46.1 percent from the floor and held Orlando to a miserable 29.9 percent shooting.

The Magic's vaunted 4-1 offensive set with Dwight Howard in the paint and four sharp-shooters around the perimeter fell flat thanks in large part to an 8- of-23 effort from beyond the arc.

Playing on the big stage for the first time, Howard came up small, making just one field goal and totaling 12 points and 15 rebounds overall.

Those numbers and the one assist from Rafer Alston, along with the 2-of-10 shooting from Rashard Lewis told the story of Orlando's offensive futility.

The pre-game headline of Jameer Nelson's return proved to be less than pivotal. The All-Star guard, who missed the last four months with a torn right shoulder labrum, appeared very rusty after a great start and scored just six points with four assists in just over 23 minutes of action.

Orlando Sentinel scribe Mike Bianchi summed up Nelson's night.

"It was like my sex life," Bianchi deadpanned. "Great for three minutes."

So where do Orlando and Van Gundy go from here?

Likely to the golf course. Phil Jackson-coached teams are an imposing 43-0 when they capture Game 1 of a postseason set.

Good luck with all that, Stan.