Coming Soon; The NFFL

By John McMullen

Philadelphia, PA (The Phanatic Magazine) - With all the talk of recession and toxic assets dominating the national newscasts, I often get inundated on my radio show with the absurd thesis that pro sports, especially the NFL, is recession proof.

While I acknowledge America's obsession with the NFL, my response is usually pretty simple -- tell that to the 10 percent of the NFL office that Roger Goodell handed pink slips to during the holiday season.

In this bailout fueled economy, nothing is recession proof and that's why everyone, even the mighty NFL, has to fight for the public's disposable income.

The league, buoyed by its immense popularity, hasn't caught on to that yet.

Roger and his lemmings are a lot like the Obama Administration. They feel you like them so much that they can shove anything down your throat and you will accept it.

For years, the NFL has become a game filled with more and more minutia thanks to ridiculous rule changes that only complicate the game for the casual fan.

The latest series of "rule changes" were implemented this week in the name of "player safety."

The most publicized of these rules, of course, revolves around the quarterback position and is a knee-jerk reaction to New England Patriots superstar Tom Brady's ACL injury in Week 1 of last season.

While on the ground, Kansas City Chiefs safety Bernard Pollard scurried away from a Sammy Morris block and dove at Brady’s leg. The resulting hit blew out the All-Pro's left knee.

Had Morris hit Tyler Thigpen the league would have yawned but it was Mr. Gisele Bundchen so something had to be done and a new rule was cobbled together.

The new edict states that if a defensive player is on the ground and he lunges or rolls at a quarterback’s legs in a manner that involves a forcible hit with the helmet or shoulder, a penalty will be called.

However, defensive players are still permitted to hit a quarterback low if the defender is coming off a block, just as former Pittsburgh Steeler Kimo von Oelhoffen did a few years ago in the playoffs when he destroyed Carson Palmer’s knee.

Wait, I'm not done...A defensive player on the ground can also use his arms or hands to "grab" a quarterback and pull him down.

Nothing like making the game simpler and taking a possible judgment call out of the hands of Ed Hochuli, huh?

If he wasn't so well-paid, I would say Mike Pereira, the NFL's vice president of officiating, has the worst gig in the world. You see, Pereira has to defend this crap in public with a straight face.

So, Mikey P. took to the airways to defend the drivel on Wednesday, appearing on Dan Patrick's syndicated show. Pereira explained that the new rule was actually just a "clarification" of the existing rule and added that the new definition was already illegal but never applied.

Ridiculous.

The funny thing is that all the rule changes over the years designed to help offense and protect the quarterbacks have only made signal-callers more vulnerable.

Unable to play coverage for more than a few seconds without being flagged, the league's defensive coordinators have figured out that the only way to win on a consistent basis in today's NFL is to get to the quarterback. That means less strategy, more blitzing and you guessed it -- more QB injuries.

The obtuse NFL Competition Committee then responds with more rules, making the game less and less enjoyable.

God forbid if Peyton Manning goes down next season, the NFL will cease to exist and be replaced by the NFFL -- The National Flag Football League.

Hochuli could probably handle that.