Sunday, May 13, 2007

The Mother of All…

By Jeff Glauser

The Phanatic Magazine

In honor of the special day which is today, the day where we show thanks to the ladies who labored to make us, nurture us and, to this day, still puts spittle on a napkin and wipes the crust from the corner of our mouths (much to our embarrassment and amusement of those around us)… I’d like to keep with a theme.

And that theme (drumroll, please…): The Mother of All Philly Teams. To make it easier for myself and to make it a more palatable discussion piece, I’ve limited it to the past 20 years (can any of us really attest first hand as to how great a player Chuck Klein was in the '30s, or even Chuck Bednarik in the '50s, strictly based on statistics? And for most of us reading this, the '70s and most of the '80s are just a hazy memory, if one at all).

Without further ado, here goes:

The Mother of All Phillies Lineups:

  1. Lenny Dykstra, CF
  2. Bobby Abreu, RF
  3. Chase Utley, 2B
  4. Ryan Howard, 1B
  5. Scott Rolen, 3B
  6. Pat Burrell, LF
  7. Jimmy Rollins, SS
  8. Darren Daulton, C
  9. Curt Schilling, P

: The greatest table setter (when healthy) in franchise history in Dykstra. Followed by
Abreu, in a more suitable 2-slot while he was here. A middle of the order to die for. Mike Schmidt a consideration for 3B, but in the tale end of his career. Rollins ensures that pitchers can’t take the back end lightly. The hardest position to choose was easily LF, which, over the past two decades, has been cumulatively filled by Burrell following an endless revolving door. “Pat the Bat” gets in by default. Schilling was just downright nasty in the late 90’s, but unfortunately never got the run support he deserved.

The Mother of All Sixers Rosters:


Point Guard: Allen Iverson

Shooting Guard: Hersey Hawkins

Small Forward: Clarence Weatherspoon

Power Forward: Charles Barkley

Center: Dikembe Mutombo

Reserves: Jeff Hornacek, Dana Barros, Andre Iguodala, Jerry Stackhouse, Theo Ratliff, Derrick Coleman, Chris Webber

Overview: Super-small team filled with a couple of chumps in Coleman and Webber, but who do you replace them with for size? Shawn Bradley? Manute Bol? Kurt Nymphius? Otherwise, AI finally has a supporting cast to dish it to, and clutch players such as Hornacek and Barros off the bench.

The Mother of All Flyers Lines:

1st Line:

LW: John LeClair

C: Eric Lindros

RW: Rick Tocchet

D: Eric Desjardins, Mark Howe

G: Ron Hextall

2nd Line:

LW: Mark Recchi

C: Rod Brind’Amour

RW: Tim Kerr

D: Kjell Samuelsson, Chris Therien

G: Roman Cechmanek

Overview: So close for so many positions, had to choose two lines! We sometimes forget how dominant Lindros was when he was healthy. Even older versions of Howe and Kerr were impressive. Mainly because of the position’s own revolving door, Hextall is a no-brainer to start.

The Mother of All Eagles Starters:


QB: Donovan McNabb

RB: Brian Westbrook

FB: Keith Byars

WR: Terrell Owens, Irving Fryar

TE: Keith Jackson

T: William “Tre” Thomas, Jon Runyan

G: Shawn Andrews, Jermane Mayberry

C: Hank Fraley

K: David Akers


DE: Reggie White, Clyde Simmons

DT: Jerome Brown, Corey Simon

MLB: Jeremiah Trotter

OLB: Seth Joyner, Carlos Emmons

CB: Eric Allen, Troy Vincent

SS: Andre Waters

FS: Brian Dawkins

P: Sean Landeta

Overview: This was actually easier than I thought it would be! Many good players over the past years, but clearly some great ones. Perennial All-Pros at virtually every position. The late Waters edges out Michael Lewis for the fear factor alone. Simmons squeaks by other great ends such as William Fuller and Hugh Douglas. Same for Emmons over Byron Evans and aging Fryar over aging Mike Quick. No dominant centers, so steady Fraley gets the call. Simply enough, this lineup is a flat-out juggernaut.

Agree? Disagree? Have your own “mother” lineups? Leave a comment or email Jeff Glauser at If it’s something good, it may make a future column!


Anonymous said...

What a lazy column. Roman Checkmanek? Chris Therien? Dikembe Mutombo? Pat Burrell?

Come on, you were just putting the first names that came to your head.

Anonymous said...

Dear Anonymous,

In your comment, please feel free to submit choices in their place which you feel would be deemed more suitable. "Lazy" feedback is not providing alternative solutions!

Unknown said...

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