By John McMullen
The Phanatic Magazine
Confession time -- I am a pro wrestling fan.
Now before all the elitists pin their ears back and let me in on the secret that wrestling is "fake" -- let me turn the tables -- you're the idiots.
You see, all of us who follow the industry understand the matches are predetermined. We follow it because it's an art form. It's entertainment for us, like a movie or a soap opera.
But fake? Tell that to Mark Calaway.
Calaway is better known to most as "The Undertaker". a 6-foot-8, 300-pound World Wrestling Entertainment superstar that won the world heavyweight title over Dave "Batista" Bautista at the most recent Wrestlemania in front of over 80,000 fans at Detroit's Ford Field.
Calaway was penciled in for a long title reign by the WWE creative team but that all changed when the big man recently suffered a completely torn right bicep.
According to Dr. James Andrews (yes, the big time wrestlers also go to Dr. Andrews), the bicep rolled up in Calaway's arm like a window shade. Needless to say, Calaway needs surgery and is expected to miss months of action.
Now if this was baseball, where tightness is your forearm is grounds for shutting it down, Calaway would have simply handed the belt back and told Vince McMahon where to send his checks while he was convalescing.
But, in wrestling, getting the world title is a big deal and Calaway actually wanted to drop his "fake" belt in the ring despite the immense pain he was in. So, he showed up in Pittsburgh on Tuesday and did exactly that. After wrestling for 17 minutes against "Batista," Calaway dropped the strap to Adam "Edge" Copeland in a story line twist.
Now let's compare the "fake" Undertaker against some of my favorite "real"baseball injuries over the years.
*Chris Brown once missed a game because he "slept on his eye funny".
*Sammy Sosa was once disabled after a violent sneeze.
*Mickey Tettleton once went on the disabled list with athlete's foot.
*Bret Barberie actually missed a game after rubbing chili juice in his eyes.
*Ricky Bones injured his lower back getting out of a chair while watching television.
*Dustan Mohr strained his groin while trying to get out of the dugout for a celebration for another player's home run.
*Greg Harris suffered a strained elbow flipping sunflower seeds while sitting in the bullpen.
*Brent Mayne missed an entire month in the 2002 season because he turned his head to check traffic and wrenched his back.
*Rich Harden strained his shoulder turning off his alarm clock.
*Terry Mulholland scratched his eye on a feather that was sticking out of a pillow.
*Kevin Mitchell strained a muscle while vomiting.
Yep, it seems like playing through pain is only scripted these days...
No wonder I'm a wrestling fan.
The Phanatic Magazine
Confession time -- I am a pro wrestling fan.
Now before all the elitists pin their ears back and let me in on the secret that wrestling is "fake" -- let me turn the tables -- you're the idiots.
You see, all of us who follow the industry understand the matches are predetermined. We follow it because it's an art form. It's entertainment for us, like a movie or a soap opera.
But fake? Tell that to Mark Calaway.
Calaway is better known to most as "The Undertaker". a 6-foot-8, 300-pound World Wrestling Entertainment superstar that won the world heavyweight title over Dave "Batista" Bautista at the most recent Wrestlemania in front of over 80,000 fans at Detroit's Ford Field.
Calaway was penciled in for a long title reign by the WWE creative team but that all changed when the big man recently suffered a completely torn right bicep.
According to Dr. James Andrews (yes, the big time wrestlers also go to Dr. Andrews), the bicep rolled up in Calaway's arm like a window shade. Needless to say, Calaway needs surgery and is expected to miss months of action.
Now if this was baseball, where tightness is your forearm is grounds for shutting it down, Calaway would have simply handed the belt back and told Vince McMahon where to send his checks while he was convalescing.
But, in wrestling, getting the world title is a big deal and Calaway actually wanted to drop his "fake" belt in the ring despite the immense pain he was in. So, he showed up in Pittsburgh on Tuesday and did exactly that. After wrestling for 17 minutes against "Batista," Calaway dropped the strap to Adam "Edge" Copeland in a story line twist.
Now let's compare the "fake" Undertaker against some of my favorite "real"baseball injuries over the years.
*Chris Brown once missed a game because he "slept on his eye funny".
*Sammy Sosa was once disabled after a violent sneeze.
*Mickey Tettleton once went on the disabled list with athlete's foot.
*Bret Barberie actually missed a game after rubbing chili juice in his eyes.
*Ricky Bones injured his lower back getting out of a chair while watching television.
*Dustan Mohr strained his groin while trying to get out of the dugout for a celebration for another player's home run.
*Greg Harris suffered a strained elbow flipping sunflower seeds while sitting in the bullpen.
*Brent Mayne missed an entire month in the 2002 season because he turned his head to check traffic and wrenched his back.
*Rich Harden strained his shoulder turning off his alarm clock.
*Terry Mulholland scratched his eye on a feather that was sticking out of a pillow.
*Kevin Mitchell strained a muscle while vomiting.
Yep, it seems like playing through pain is only scripted these days...
No wonder I'm a wrestling fan.
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