Wednesday, May 30, 2007

The Jersey Shore dynamic

By Jared Trexler
The Phanatic Magazine

I spend plenty of time at the Jersey Shore -- but temperatures in the mid 30s and snowflakes falling on Route 88 don't really tell the Shore's story.

With Memorial Day came the unabashed start of summer and with it my first of many experiences with the Shore scene -- an interesting dynamic of sun and swim, sports and sex appeal.

Without further adieu, The Phanatic Magazine gets you set for summer with the "Top 8 Shore Secrets," all tying in with or drawing analogy to the sports or Philadelphia world.

1. The Jersey Shore -- and when I'm talking Shore, I'm talking Point Pleasant not family-oriented LBI or cash-cow Atlantic City -- may be nearly equidistant between New York and Philadelphia, but it truly is a New York sports town. Phillies minor league club Lakewood is just down the road, but even a game at beautiful First Energy Park is littered with Mets shirts and Yankees hats. Many beach goers and shoreline residents are New York area transplants or have ties to the Big Apple. I may have noticed two or three pieces of Phillies, Eagles or Flyers apparel during each weekend to the area, but the start of summer brought the striking truth to the forefront. The Shore loves the Yankees, even with the Bronx Bombers stationed in the AL East basement.

2. Martell's Tiki Bar rivals the Bank, maybe even exceeding it, in alcoholic selection and prices. The bang for the buck comes from a fresh-squeezed OJ with four shots of vodka for $9. It gets the juices flowing on a sun-splashed day. I'd even take it over a $6 draft beer at CBP. Pina Coladas are $7.50, but Martell's hands down offers more for the spectator than the current group of Phillies. Who wants to watch Pat Burrell strike out when they can suck down a drink while watching the waves.

3. I wonder what parking and traffic would be like if the Phillies ever played October baseball during the Eagles season. We may never get to find out -- but I bet it rivals the parking situation at the Shore. I'll walk a mile any day over paying almost $20 for a cushy spot sandwiched between two cars worth more than my life.

4. McFaddens versus The Osprey. The beer-brewing sports pub has plenty of outside space and a chill atmosphere, a pure ballpark bar with some room to bust a move, but nothing like the experience at the Osprey. Granted, I had this image of bar heaven when I walked through the Belmar gates, and I wasn't disappointed. Music was solid, alcohol was cold, and there even was the token 40-year-old jacked guy whistling while mixing Whiskey Sours. Awesome.

5. Pat's Pizza versus the Philly Cheesesteak. It's close -- and might I add Pat's makes a mean steak sandwich, but nothing can beat "wit" or "wit out wiz." But if I'm voting strictly on pizza, than the phrase, "How much you wanna pay?" is music to my ears at the Jersey Shore pizza place. Maybe the Eagles can plug one into a concourse at Lincoln Financial Field. A guy's stomach can dream.

6. Drunk girls. College nights at CBP resemble a frat party, stumbling drunk girls carried out by guys with popped collars they don't even know. Obscenities fly, beer flows and no one knows who is playing let alone the score. The Jersey girls can hold their own with the boos, but they don't seem as trashy doing it. Likely many of these same college girls at Phils games make their way to the shore each year, but they must class up or mellow down. I heard a girl offer a guy sex for a Coors Light in the parking lot of Citizens Bank Park last year, classy move Phils fans.

7.Winning and losing. Loses are easier to handle at the beach. How about a weekend sweep of the Braves? I just brushed it off as another hot spurt for the streaky Phils. Back to the beach I went.

8. Phillies fans are almost embarrassed at times. They hide behind worn down caps and faded T-shirts. Yankees fans at the shore -- they paint their rooms with pinstripes and assemble a trophy case the Hall of Fame would be proud of. That's what 24 years of championship futility will do to a city. I've never seen a Phillies-themed or Eagles-clad bedroom, and that's just sad. I'm sure there are some (and feel free to email me at if you or someone you know has one), but those people aren't drawing attention to themselves. It's the differing state between the winners (Yanks) and losers (Philadelphia in general).

So next time a buddy tells you he or she is headed to the Shore, know he or she isn't entering friendly sports territory. The Jersey Shore is all about the beach and exudes an aura of confidence only found outside this city's limits.
Jared Trexler can be reached at

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