Eagles writing a script of indifference

By Jeff Glauser
The Phanatic Magazine

Today, the Eagles kissed their sister (just on the cheek, so it was nothing incestuous).

And fans like myself responded in kind – indifference.

There was a game today, and yet from the very beginning the Birds had no other option but to blow out the Bengals in order to avoid the ensuing mass nothingness from its followers. But what happened was it played out like a really predictable movie: No peaks and valleys, no rising action, no climax and for the first time since 2002 in the NFL, no resolution, either.

My college film professor would have been really pissed. Yet I wasn’t.

At no point in the game did I jump for joy, nor at any juncture did I attempt to throw something out of frustration. Usually, both occur multiple times throughout the course of a given contest.

And that’s what this season has come to – a whole bunch of nothing special. Apathy is the name of the game when the game seems to be coached that way.

Frankly, it was all very fitting. Because if they had lost, at least there would be some emotion that resulted. And emotion – be it negative or positive – is still a positive thing. It means there’s an investment in the team, a vested interest, something to hang your hat on.

Meanwhile, Andy Reid and Donovan McNabb teamed up to play color by numbers again, as millions of onlookers in the Greater Philadelphia Region and beyond would witness a 3rd and short situation, say to themselves, “You know, it would make perfect sense to execute a QB sneak, so they probably won’t,” time and time again – and be proven correct each time.

I now look at a team like the Miami Dolphins, a putrid franchise not very long ago, now throwing every gadget play but the kitchen sink at the opposing squad week in and week out, and I feel a bit envious. They do not have more talent than the Birds, though their record is now better. They most likely will not be a playoff contender – and yet it doesn’t matter. They are fun to watch and are only getting better.

Meanwhile, the Eagles are neither. They are boring, predictable and stagnant.

With six games to go, there’s not much to look forward to. They’re too good to tank it the rest of the way to position themselves for a high draft pick (which would inevitably go toward another lineman anyway). They’re not good enough to hope for something special in January.

Purgatory sucks.

Meanwhile, we’re left to watch the rest of the movie play out just the way it’s begun. No refunds on these tickets. Get some more popcorn to occupy yourself and then sit patiently, waiting for the credits to finally come up on this season.

Unless, of course, you enjoy kissing your sister.