Suspend that Disbelief

By John McMullen
The Phanatic Magazine
While sitting through the torture of yet another "five-minute pit stop" at the Pinewood Derby on Saturday, I was awakened out of my stupor by a series of rapid texts.

Everyone was trying to inform me that my old friend from Minneapolis, Selena Roberts, decided to play single white female ... I mean Pedro Gomez to Alex Rodriguez and released the results of the good looking, bi-racial one's obvious chemical past.

My cell was blowing up and most of the messages expressed utter shock.

Remember, Alex was the one with the cape that was going to clean up all of baseball's mistakes and make the home run record pure again.

Of course, Ken Griffey Jr. would have gotten there first if he didn't tear a muscle every time he rolled out of bed but I digress.

My thoughts were a little different.

It's not like, I have a problem suspending my disbelief. I know Matt Damon isn't really Jason Bourne and Daniel Craig isn't 007 but for the two hours I am in that movie theatre, I believe it.

Heck, I'm even a pro wrestling fan and there's nothing better than watching Adam "Edge" Copeland and Randy Orton at the top of their game.

But, Alex Rodriguez - clean?

I was always taught if it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck ... it's probably a duck.

The fact that A-Rod looks more equipped to play middle linebacker than say Ray Lewis should have probably been a dead giveaway.

That said, lighten up.

Everybody and I mean everybody is tied to some kind of performance enhancer in Donald Fehr's union. In fact, I think you get a free cycle with the union dues.

Except the Red Sox of course, George Mitchell made sure of that.

I know David Ortiz was a below average player in Minnesota and then turned into the most dangerous hitter in the game after a couple of offseasons.

I'm aware Jason Varitek has the temper of a Bill Romanowski and sure Dustin Pedroia has the most power on any little person in baseball history.

They're all clean.

Suspend that disbelief.