All rise! Court is now in session.

By Jeff Glauser
The Phanatic Magazine

First on the docket, bailiff?

America’s major sports leagues are on trial, Your Honor. The charges and cases are as follows:

The People versus Major League Baseball. MLB is accused of willfully abetting its employees for an extended period of time as they maliciously cheated the sport, tainted its most venerable longstanding records and compromised the overall integrity of the game.

The People versus the National Football Leauge and the National Basketball Association. NFL accused of creating an atmosphere conducive to immoral and degenerate behavior, causing inappropriate reverence of players from younger impressionable fans and gaping holes – sometimes left unfilled – for the teams they played for when said players ultimately need to be disassociated from their respective leagues.

In addition to the aforementioned charges, an additional charge has made brought upon the NBA for abetting the reckless and malicious altering of contests by its referees (because no one actually believes that the majority of their calls were made with good intentions).

The People versus the National Hockey League. NHL accused of conspiracy to commit the sport to nationwide irrelevance by limiting exposure and relocating and expanding franchises to indifferent cities such as Nashville, Raleigh, and Sunrise, Fla., thus allowing it to fall behind such quasi and non-sports as NASCAR, Texas Hold ‘Em and the World Series of Pop Culture in terms of popularity.

(Remember when sports used to be the outlet used to escape all which was wrong in our society? At what point did it become the example of it?)