By John McMullen
The Phanatic Magazine
Thank you Leonardo DiCaprio.
My well-chronicled recent DMV travails have caused me to buy stock in Pepto-Bismol as I wonder just what mischief my Doppelganger has gotten into over the last decade or so.
But thanks to Leo, I was no longer worrying. You see the Hollywood heartthrob let me know over the weekend that we all face extinction thanks to global warming.
And just like thousands of morons, I get all my information from 'stars.' I mean why wouldn't they know everything? People pay to stick a camera in front of them so they must be special right?
Take Bradley Whitford, the know it all geek, who is best known for his role as Deputy Chief of Staff Josh Lyman on the NBC television drama The West Wing. Good ole' Brad took that role a tad too seriously and thinks he is competent to discuss national political issues because of it. He was also kind enough to let me know on the left-leaning Bill Maher show that global warming is a scientific fact and there is no argument over it.
So why worry about anything? It's all over -- let's run up those credit cards and party like rock stars. But, before I bought that case of Cristal, forgot about that faux Johnny Mac and ordered the Phanatic staff to round up a gaggle of strippers, I stumbled upon Augie Auer.
You can imagine how stunned I was to see Auer, an actual meteorologist, contradict Leo and Bradley over the weekend. This clown even had the nerve to say climate change will be considered a joke in five years time and that man's contribution to the greenhouse gases was so small we couldn't change the climate if we tried.
And unlike Leo and Bradley, Augie actually brought some facts to the dance. Water vapor was responsible for 95 per cent of the greenhouse effect, an effect which was vital to keep the world warm, he explained. The other greenhouse gases -- carbon dioxide, methane, nitrogen dioxide, and various others including CFCs -- contributed only five per cent of the effect, carbon dioxide being the greatest contributor of those at 3.6 per cent.
However, carbon dioxide as a result of man's activities was only 3.2 per cent of that, hence only 0.12 per cent of the greenhouse gases in total. Human-related methane, nitrogen dioxide and CFCs etc made similarly minuscule contributions to the effect: 0.066, 0.047 and 0.046 per cent respectively.
"That ought to be the end of the argument, there and then," Auger said. "We couldn't do it (change the climate) even if we wanted to because water vapor dominates."
As you might imagine -- this caused a crisis of faith as I prayed at my Hollywood altar. Do I believe the scientist or the real experts - Leo and Bradley?
In truth, I have no earthly idea who to believe and also have the testicular fortitude to admit it. But, I do know Time Magazine was talking about the "New Ice Age" thanks to environmental concerns some 35 years ago.
So, instead of falling into line with the groupthink mentality maybe we should ask the lefties who are so sure we are doomed what happened to that?
At the same time, maybe it's time to rethink bastardizing Barry Bonds.
If you are being honest, you have to admit you have no idea how Barry Bonds' use of "performance enhancing" drugs altered his career numbers.
After all, weren't some of those pitchers offering up gopher balls to Barry also using? How often did somebody dial it up to 99 to fan Barry? Maybe if they weren't on the juice, Bonds would have caught up to that fastball and be at 746 instead of 745 right now.
The point is -- you don't know. So have the courtesy to admit it and celebrate the greatest record in sport when it falls.
I mean, we are all doomed anyway.
The Phanatic Magazine
Thank you Leonardo DiCaprio.
My well-chronicled recent DMV travails have caused me to buy stock in Pepto-Bismol as I wonder just what mischief my Doppelganger has gotten into over the last decade or so.
But thanks to Leo, I was no longer worrying. You see the Hollywood heartthrob let me know over the weekend that we all face extinction thanks to global warming.
And just like thousands of morons, I get all my information from 'stars.' I mean why wouldn't they know everything? People pay to stick a camera in front of them so they must be special right?
Take Bradley Whitford, the know it all geek, who is best known for his role as Deputy Chief of Staff Josh Lyman on the NBC television drama The West Wing. Good ole' Brad took that role a tad too seriously and thinks he is competent to discuss national political issues because of it. He was also kind enough to let me know on the left-leaning Bill Maher show that global warming is a scientific fact and there is no argument over it.
So why worry about anything? It's all over -- let's run up those credit cards and party like rock stars. But, before I bought that case of Cristal, forgot about that faux Johnny Mac and ordered the Phanatic staff to round up a gaggle of strippers, I stumbled upon Augie Auer.
You can imagine how stunned I was to see Auer, an actual meteorologist, contradict Leo and Bradley over the weekend. This clown even had the nerve to say climate change will be considered a joke in five years time and that man's contribution to the greenhouse gases was so small we couldn't change the climate if we tried.
And unlike Leo and Bradley, Augie actually brought some facts to the dance. Water vapor was responsible for 95 per cent of the greenhouse effect, an effect which was vital to keep the world warm, he explained. The other greenhouse gases -- carbon dioxide, methane, nitrogen dioxide, and various others including CFCs -- contributed only five per cent of the effect, carbon dioxide being the greatest contributor of those at 3.6 per cent.
However, carbon dioxide as a result of man's activities was only 3.2 per cent of that, hence only 0.12 per cent of the greenhouse gases in total. Human-related methane, nitrogen dioxide and CFCs etc made similarly minuscule contributions to the effect: 0.066, 0.047 and 0.046 per cent respectively.
"That ought to be the end of the argument, there and then," Auger said. "We couldn't do it (change the climate) even if we wanted to because water vapor dominates."
As you might imagine -- this caused a crisis of faith as I prayed at my Hollywood altar. Do I believe the scientist or the real experts - Leo and Bradley?
In truth, I have no earthly idea who to believe and also have the testicular fortitude to admit it. But, I do know Time Magazine was talking about the "New Ice Age" thanks to environmental concerns some 35 years ago.
So, instead of falling into line with the groupthink mentality maybe we should ask the lefties who are so sure we are doomed what happened to that?
At the same time, maybe it's time to rethink bastardizing Barry Bonds.
If you are being honest, you have to admit you have no idea how Barry Bonds' use of "performance enhancing" drugs altered his career numbers.
After all, weren't some of those pitchers offering up gopher balls to Barry also using? How often did somebody dial it up to 99 to fan Barry? Maybe if they weren't on the juice, Bonds would have caught up to that fastball and be at 746 instead of 745 right now.
The point is -- you don't know. So have the courtesy to admit it and celebrate the greatest record in sport when it falls.
I mean, we are all doomed anyway.
4 comments:
Are you mentally stable?
Look. If you think the media frenzy on climate change is strange now, wait until the world really starts to hot up!. Then beholden every idiot on the planet will be giving advice on what to do. The politicians will be running around in circles trying to come to terms with a problem and an issue that is beyond them intellectually. And did you know that scientists are human beings? Just becuase a person is very welle educated and experienced, it does not mean that they are correct or rational. It is common for scientists to be biased to a position - for whatever reason... The earth was flat once - you know. Scientists can be sociopaths and arrogant just like the rest of us. Therefore, sage advice is to rely on the peer reviewed scientific journals and peek science groups (i.e. IPCC).
On that note, climate change is considered real by the IPCC and its almost proven using mathematical models based on the physics of earth's climate system.
Good luck. Try reading some books.
Elitists are funny. This guy is ripping you Delton and you are so clueless you have no idea. He admitted he has no idea if Global Warming exists. Guess what either do you! The "books" you read told you it existed . To try and say there is no substantive dissent on this topic is arrogant and beyond ridiculous. I don't think anyone is saying scientists can't be wrong but I think we should all be able to agree Hollywood stars could also be wrong. Frightening concept I know...
Bradley Whitford is right: global warming is a scientific fact. There can be no argument about whether or not it is a real issue. That's his point. And, sadly, there are people in this world that do not believe the global warming actually is occuring. There are people in this world that don't believe the degredation of the ozone layer is what has lead to global warming. There are those who do not believe that the increase of carbon dioxide in the atmosphere is a leading cause of the greenhouse effect, which plays a major role in global warming. So, don't slam him for pointing out the obvious. Some people need to hear the stars tell the truth, for once.
Bradley Whitford is outspoken. So, what? If people listen to him and become involved in the political process because of him, then I think we should stand up and applaud him.
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