Tuesday, January 23, 2007

Tuna didn't want to get canned


By Steven Lienert

If anyone believes Bill Parcells retired from football of his own volition should contact me about some very valuable swampland I own in Florida.

The truth of the matter is that Jerry Jones signed a big, fat check, handed it to Parcells and gave him an option: Say you retire and walk out the door or stick around and watch me can your Hall-of-Fame ass.

Don't give me the rhetoric that "Parcells looked tired" or that he was "sick of having to deal with a player like Terrell Owens on his team." Like 24's Chloe O'Brien, Parcells always has that I-just-smelled-something-bad look on his face. He always looks disgusted.

He looked upset in the post-game press conference following his two-point win in Super Bowl XXV.

And, despite the pain-in-the-tookus that is T.O., Parcells handled him about as well as anyone could have this season. More on that later.

No, all the signs pointed to a return for another run. Parcells kept showing up for work every day. He was analyzing game film. He was scheduled to go to the Senior Bowl this weekend.

But the Cowboys will have everyone believe that Parcells got up yesterday morning and suddenly decided he was done with football. Aside from a doctor giving Parcells a grim diagnosis of some sort, why would this happen?

It don't make no sense.

What does make sense is that Jones, who shoved Tom Landry out the door, is someone that takes pleasure in reminding even the best coaches that the Dallas Cowboys are his team, not theirs.

The 'Parcells Watch' grew to 'City-Held Hostage' proportions down in Big D and Jones had had enough. So he did the only thing he knew how to do: write a check and escort Parcells out the door.

As an Eagles fan, I love this. First, Parcells is out of the NFC East and, secondly, whomever takes the job is going to get eaten alive by T.O.

I'm hoping Jones hires another Barry Switzer type guy (see Nutt, Houston) and Dallas doesn't sniff the playoffs until T.O. is too old to take it anymore.

The fact that both T.O. and the Cowboys both have tickets on the NFL's version of Titanic is a comforting thought as I drift off to sleep at night.

Lienert chants Dallas Sucks at stevelienert@hotmail.com

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Copyright 2007
The Phanatic

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

If Jones pushed Parcells out the door, then good for him.

He never won a playoff game in his tenure with Dallas and quite frankly, didn't produce.

Are the Cowboys any better than when he got there? That can be debated, but the team sure has a lot of character issues that a Parcells coach team just doesn't have.