Salvation

By John McMullen

I’m an agnostic person.

Simply put, that means I’m a guy who believes that the existence of the ultimate cause (God) and the essential nature of things are unknown and unknowable.

In other words all of our knowledge is limited to our experience.

You can thank 12 years of Catholic school in South Jersey for my current viewpoint.

Of course, old habits or in this case -- old preconceived notions -- die-hard.

Any of my fellow survivors from Christ the King or Paul VI can attest to the fear and guilt you are plied with on a daily basis. So, even though I am now ruled by logic -- it’s nice to hedge your bets in case judgment day arrives and St. Peter is at the gate with a more exclusive list than Studio 54 in its heyday.

But, I’m covered either way now...thanks to Rex Grossman and Peyton Manning.

When the Chicago Bears disposed of the New Orleans Saints on Sunday and the worst quarterback in Super Bowl history punched his ticket for South Beach, you cold feel the banks of the River Styx getting frosty.

Then, just past 10 p.m. (et), it was official.

Manning -- the worst big game quarterback of this generation -- and his Indianapolis Colts slayed the best coach in the game (Bill Belichick) and the biggest money player (Tom Brady).

I immediately flipped to the Weather Channel to confirm my suspicions.

And, Kelly Cass was right there to look cute and verify it all -- Hell, had indeed frozen over.

It was time to rejoice -- with the Prince of Darkness out of the picture-- that leaves only one place for sinners like me!

Hello purgatory...

-You can continue this theological discussion with John McMullen at jmcmullen1@comcast.net


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The Phanatic