My Christmas gift to you -- just in case

“Life is pain. Life is only pain. We are all taught to believe in happy fairy tale endings but there is only blackness. Dark depressing loneliness that eats at your soul.” - The South Park Goth Kid

By John McMullen

From comedy comes clarity.

Despite my advancing age, a number that is gleefully thrown at me all too often by so many of my “friends” at The Phanatic offices , I am a big fan of Trey Parker and Matt Stone -- the creators of South Park.

In fact, I loathe throwing the word “genius” around when discussing sports -- I just don’t feel mastering the cover-2 or the box-and-one should qualify as part of the job description when rating intellect. But, if you can make someone laugh consistently for a decade, like Parker and Stone, you are just below Einstein in my book.

Which brings me to the South Park Goth Kid. Despite living in a sleepy, snowy Colorado town -- I can’t help thinking he is a Philadelphia fan.

It’s not even Christmas and we have given up on our winter sports teams. That’s what happens when they combine to start December with an 0-18 mark.

So -- muck like Ricky Bobby with The Real World -- we are putting all our eggs in one basket. And what a basket it is -- a Christmas day showdown with T.O.‘s Dallas Cowboys in Irving.

Logically, I don’t see why the Birds can’t win. The ‘Boys are a vastly overrated club with an untested quarterback in a downtrodden conference. Meanwhile, the Eagles come in as the hotter team and the quarterback is “Big Game” tested.

But, in the back of my mind I keep hearing that South Park Goth Kid -- “Life is pain. Life is only pain. We are all taught to believe in happy fairy tale endings but there is only blackness. Dark depressing loneliness that eats at your soul.”

So just in case the Eagles ruin your Christmas -- I am offering a public service to all of you.

The funniest Saturday Night Live skit since Will Ferrell was rockin the cowbell.

Comedy can cure anything.