Glory Days

By Tim McManus

Like in wrestling, I think everybody should have a theme song that plays each time they come onto the scene.

This would really help in your decision-making, no? For instance: When you meet a drop-dead gorgeous girl your judgment instantly becomes muddled, but if she had "Super Freak" playing behind her you'd know to run away (or go after her, depending on your taste).

All of the man-eaters and hoochie mamas would be separated from the keepers who are once, twice, three times a lady, right?

It works for guys, too. If someone comes into anything played by Anthrax, it's probably a good idea to flee as quickly as possible. If it's something by the Smiths you don't have to worry about the competition, whereas if it's an Al Green song you probably do, but at least you'll get outdueled by a cool cat.

As you now choose which song would represent you, know this: It will never be as perfect as Metallica's "Enter Sandman" and Mariano Rivera. From the band to the title to the rift, no marriage of man and music will ever fit so well. Unless Randy Johnson used Bob Seger's "Against the Wind" (I was a little too tall, could have used a few pounds).

That doesn't mean we can't have some fun with this. So let's match your Philadelphia Phillies with their appropriate theme songs:

Ryan Howard: I'm thinking AC/DC's "Thunderstrike" or Tribe Called Quest's "Scenario": Powerful impact, boom! from the cannon

David Bell: Beatles, "When I'm 64". When I am old and losing my hair...Will you still need me (no), will you still feed me (no) when I can't bend down!

Aaron Rowand: Dave Matthews' "Crash" strictly for the title, mixed with Don Fogarty's "Centerfield", a classic feel for a throwback player.

Jimmy Rollins: No song. Every time he comes to the plate they should play the one part from "Major League": "You may run like Mays but you hit like sh%t!"

Chase Utley: Bruce Springsteen, "Glory Days". My colleagues insisted this song be on the list (they suggested it for every player) so I had to put it in. And it's kinda the All-American song, so it fits here somehow.

Bobby Abreu: Lionel Richie, "Easy Like Sunday Morning". The more I think about it, the more I'm convinced this plays in his head constantly during a game. He just sort of gallivants about, everything's is fluid, no rush, I'll swing when I swing. Maybe the key is to switch his song to Pantera or something.

Pat Burrell: Cranberries, "Zombie". Seriously, just watch him move. You'll never look at him the same again.

Sal Fasano: AC/DC's "Highway to Hell" for both the biker image and the fate of his career. I cannot be talked out of this one.

Cole Hamels: LL Cool J, "Something Like a Phenomenon".

Brett Myers: Prodigy, "Smack My B*tch Up". (Sorry, but you knew that was coming).


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Copyright 2006 The Phanatic