Saturday, April 01, 2006

Can I please have an alternative?

By John McMullen

Listening to sports radio in this town has become excruciating.

When I turn to a certain station on the dial, I can actually feel the I.Q. points slipping away.

Here are some of the things I have "learned" by listening to Philadelphia's "top sports station" over the past few weeks:

-The good-old USA has 11 billion illegal immigrants entering it every year. (This despite the fact there is, at last check, about seven billion people on the planet).

-Vince Young did very poorly in the "Wonderlink" test. (That may seem like a small mistake if it wasn't repeated a dozen or so times by a certain wannabe "King.")

-Rickey Henderson was a heck of a switch-hitter in his day. (An excellent point considering Ricky was one of the best....But, the fact he hits exclusively from the right side probably should have disqualified him.)

-That Gavin Floyd will be "the fifth in the rotation starting." for the Phillies. (That's an homage to a certain Yoda-ically challenged late night update hostess).

-The Cowboys "are stupid" since they didn't trade their seventh round pick to the Eagles to get T.O. under the terms of his old contract. (Maybe I'm dense but isn't that contract the reason T.O. was pissed off in the first place?).

At my job, I get taken out to the woodshed for a typo...Say, I noted that Allen Iverson scored 43 points and he really netted 44. The sun might fail to rise according to my superiors..........

But perhaps, I am just jealous......It would be nice to work in a stress free environment that seems to encourage incompetence.

Or maybe, just maybe we deserve better than this?

I dream of a Philadelphia sports world with no more "Chief"...No more"Cuz"....No more "Big Daddy".

And you should too.

-You can reach John McMullen at jmcmullen1@comcast.net

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