The Chronology of a Loss

By Jared Trexler

Welcome to Wednesday. Five hours and 21 minutes after Tuesday's pivotal NL East showdown began, a weary Ryan Madson stared at dangerous left-handed hitting thumper Carlos Beltran. The slugger was thinking one thing.

I want to go home.

One swing of the bat later, Beltran got his wish and the cruel fate of baseball handed out its penalties. Madson was a loser for stats purposes only. The real loser of the marathon with the Mets was manager Charlie Manuel.

Think I'm oversimplifying the loss? Think I'm taking the easy way out?

Judge for yourself. It is all in a nice, neat log for your reading pleasure. The Phanatic proudly presents, "The Chronology of a Loss."

7:19 p.m. (et): Pat Burrell knocks in Chase Utley with a solid single to right. It's a good sign when Burrell drives an outside pitch the other way. Ryan Howard follows with a towering sacrifice fly, staking young right-hander Gavin Floyd to a 2-0 edge. The long, loud out would be the high point of possibly Howard's worst game as a pro.

7:50 p.m. (et): Floyd gives one of the runs back, as David Wright drills a belt-high fastball over the wall in left-center field. Wright will be doing that for a long time in a Mets uniform.

8:15 p.m. (et): The anatomy of the Phillies. Utley and Bobby Abreu single then Burrell walks to load the bases with nobody out. Steve Trachsel doesn't throw Howard a strike. Not one. The first baseman swings at two eye-level heaters and haplessly whiffs at a splitter that was closer to the Garden State Parkway than the strike zone. Shane Victorino then chops the ball back to Trachsel for a force at home. David Bell flies to center. RED MEANS GO.

8:40 p.m. (et): Stephen King's Desperation is on ABC. I desperately want Floyd to throw a changeup, a splitter, a slider. Any third pitch will do. He instead decides to torture me with a middle-in heater to Cliff Floyd, who deposits the pitch over the right-field wall to tie the game.

On "Deal or No Deal," some lady is throwing away her chance at starting a bakery. She is offered $71,000, but decides to ignore the advice of the rational minds and take the gamble. She walks away with $50, so instead of making granny's homemade Boston cream pie, the 50 bucks will go a long way towards buying the complete Celine Dion collection to drown out her tears.

9:15 p.m. (et): Trachsel is unfairly slow. I mean it was comical at first. But I believe (though I have no research to back up this claim) that the Mets' attendance has to suffer when he pitches. Anyway, back to your regularly scheduled program.

9:17 p.m. (et): The Fightin' Phils engineer a two-out rally. Burrell and Howard walk. Victorino singles to right and the high-stakes gambler Bill Dancy continues the windmill. Burrell is out by four steps, but the curse of Endy Chavez helps the Phils. His throw short hops Paul Lo Duca and Burrell slides in safely 30 minutes later (it felt that way). Bell then drops the bat head (Chris Wheeler would be proud) on a down-and-in fastball, driving a three-run homer into the left-field seats. 6-2 PHILLIES.

10:22 p.m. (et): We are moving ahead because, well....it gets very interesting. Holding an 8-5 advantage, Arthur Rhodes cruises through the seventh frame. Fellow lefty Cliff Floyd, switch-hitting Kaz Matsui and Chavez are sitting on the docket for the Mets. Manuel goes to Ryan Franklin because, in Charlie's paraphrased words (adjustments to resemble the English language), Rhodes is the eighth-inning guy, and we (the brain trust) switched it up for the seventh...so we went to our seventh-inning guy in the eighth.

EXCELLENT. Franklin should have juiced up prior to the game. Jose Reyes looks like Corey Pavin, as he golfs a low-and-in pitch for a two-run homer thatties the game. BRILLIANT CHARLIE. RHODES BARELY THREW ANY PITCHES. HOW ABOUT FLASH GORDON FOR A FOUR-OUT SAVE?

10:30 p.m. (et): Burrell singles in the ninth then leaves the game for pinch-runner Chris Roberson. Sweet. Manuel is about to play small ball, put Roberson on the move and make something happen. Except Roberson pulls his best Burrell impersonation. He stays anchored at first base to, as Wheeler aptly points out, "keep the hole open for the left-handed hitters." How about having Roberson steal second and one of our prized lefties hit him home?!?! Oh well, at least Roberson was just a pinch runner. SO WE ALL THOUGHT.

The Next Two Hours: The French version of "Where's Waldo" begins. The Phillies muster little offense inning after inning. Madson keeps going out to the mound. Where's Rheal Cormier? Madson's pitch count reaches 90, highlighted by a few long outs (Harry K thought at least two of them were game-winning homers).

Bench coach Gary Varsho bumps Charlie. Where's Cormier? (turns out he was unavailable because of a cortisone shot. Ok, then why did Manuel use Geoff Geary for only ONE out).

The game seems to have no end. Manuel misses his midnight medication. He also appears to be in a hurry, because he continually glances at his watch. Madson is tiring.

Well, at least the Met-killer Burrell is getting his hacks in the middle of the lineup during all of these extra innings. Oh, wait. Roberson finishes 0-for-3.

Manuel seems determined to get some sleep. There should have been no rush. It appears Manuel hasn't made a noticeable move from his perch for at least three innings.

Madson's pitch count boils over 100. He leaves a pitch up. Go get some sleep Charlie. You have another game to destroy tomorrow.