Do a little research...

By Steven Lienert

Tonight I felt like one of the cavemen in the Geico.com commercial.

The cavemen were insulted when the company's spokesman said, "It's so easy, even a caveman could do it."
After learning cavemen still existed, the spokesman and two representatives from the caveman clan sat down to a fancy dinner for a discussion.

"We didn't know you guys still existed," the spokeman said.

"Yeah, next time, do a little research," a caveman replied.

I absolutely had to call a local 'sportstalk' radio station to correct the host Saturday night (or, more accurately, Sunday morning around 12:20 a.m.) because he hadn't done the necessary research to do a proper radio show.

The host that referred to himself as "G," a former NFL player who said so many things wrong I had to call.
It was that bad.

This host had the entertainment value of a dead pigeon, and a sports acumen of one to boot.

Can't we get a better alternative?

Besides plugging his new Web site 11, that's right, 11 times, two callers before I got on the air, he gave his take on the Flyers.

"I think they'll win out," he said. "I think they have momentum."

The real deal: the Flyers have alternated a loss with a win EVERYDAY this month. They have not lost two in a row, but they have not won two in row. That's momentum?

Here's momentum. Nine straight wins. The Flyers play the Devils this afternoon. The Devils have won nine in a row, including a win over the Flyers three days ago. But I was telling that to an ex-professional athlete. What do I know?

He wouldn't let me ask my next two questions because, "I had an agenda," he said.

He was right. I did have an agenda.

I wanted to point out that this host did no research whatsoever prior to taking to the airwaves. My agenda was that I was not going to tolerate someone that could care less about doing even an adequate job. My agenda was that I was not going to allow this farce to continue without someone calling him on it on his own, ahem, show.

-"Billy Wagner's a younger guy and doesn't have a history of injury problems," the host said, referring to the Phillies' decision not to retain the 34-year-old Wagner's services in lieu of signing 38-year-old Tom "Flash" Gordon .

Really?

Wagner had finger and elbow issues during spring training that kept him out until the start of the season. Furthermore, he has missed significant time in at least two more seasons (Phillies, 2004, Houston in 2000) and has pitched 75 or more innings in three of the past four years. Flash Gordon, however, has similar stats, despite being so ancient: he's tossed over 74 innings each of the past three years without any trips to the disabled list. Gordon sounds a bit more durable to me. But, then again, I wasn't a professional athlete.

The cous-de-gras? "G" announced the Eagles would take Winston Justice in the first round of the NFL Draft. Those that read the Phanatic know that's who I chose, too. Now I'll have to agree with my optimistic colleague on the Phanatic staff that they'll take Ernie Sims, the outside linebacker from Florida State.

I just can't agree with a host that told me that I should "take a glass of milk, pop it in the MICROPHONE, and drink it to relax." After I said "Microphone?," he giggled and said he meant microwave. Then he hung up on me because I had an agenda.

I would LOVE to challenge this host, or several other ones frankly, to a show-off. Let me do a half-hour against one of their half-hour's, then let the callers decide who should stay on the air. But that'll never happen.
Feel free to email me, G. I won't hang up on you.

You can reach Steve Lienert at stevelienert@hotmail.com